A lot has been written about white women and our fragility and complicity in perpetuating racism. There was a lot of white woman fragility in the entire incident that I detail below in this week’s newsletter. Believe me I know, I’m still dealing with a shed load of my own! It reminded me of a poem I wrote a year or so ago called ‘We White Girls’, which I have included in this edition in a video format.
I home educate my children. When you home ed it’s useful to join the many local communities around you offering support, activities, meet-ups and all manner of amazing learning and social resources. I now run my own smallish local group with about 300 members mainly so I can organise things my kids want to do and have other people join us. There are also a couple of large groups covering the city and county.
Last week in one of the larger groups an incident occurred that showed how very close to the surface racist beliefs really are within many white people in this country (UK).
The need for increased diversity among the admin team of this group had been brought to their attention by myself and others. (As well as some issues with existing admin - blocking members, racist behaviours and attitudes) A post was written by them notifying the group that they wanted a more ‘ethnic and socially diverse team’. I was the first to comment. Closely followed by my Brown wife.
In the exchange that followed racist undertones were clearly present in the white admin who clearly thought she’d done her bit, and if no Global Majority people replied that was that, ‘if THEY don’t want to, what can WE do?’! Actually ‘Karen’, quite a lot! ‘Karen’ as we’ll call her wasn’t keen on that answer or that her lack of awareness or action as an admin in a large education group was discriminatory in itself. She took the decision to remove me from the group! (As well as blocking my wife). No communication with the other admin (well maybe her mate with similar views), no following rules, just blocked!
Other admin got involved, dealt with the blocking and reinstated me. They insisted that the admin apologise to me (the white woman), ‘Karen’ refused and instead left her role and the group. This did nothing to address the racism of her post, the harm it caused to the Global Majority people reading it and she was able to leave rather than being escorted from the home ed building.
For transparency, and because it felt like the racism had got lost in dealing with the incident, I posted about what had happened in the group (with the full support of the remaining admin team) to reiterate the need for formalised rules especially around racism and other forms of discrimination to ensure safety for all. (My post was kindly reviewed by my wife).
Many people were really supportive of the post. A handful of people really were not. Those that weren’t posted juvenile, ignorant comments on that thread, wilfully determined to play out an ‘all lives matter’ narrative, further impact the lack of safety for Global Majority people and generally show their true colours (actually pretty useful to the rest of us in the group!!).
My wife was a stalwart and showed up maturely, calmly and fairly to many of the comments, seeking always to encourage change and learning (she works in the field of equality). Having been on the receiving end of many racist comments, behaviour and attitudes within the home ed community, (including having her kids called donkeys, one white child deciding a child with Filipino heritage wasn’t Asian enough and an adult requesting, then refusing the free labour and advice of two Global Majority people on how to write an anti-racism policy when she was told that particular policy wasn’t for white people) - this was courageous and gracious of her in my book!
Racism showed up here too in that most of the white women’s comments weren’t littered with constant comebacks, whereas the Global Majority people’s were, culminating in an abusive comment from a white man where he called one woman a “cretin”, “a nasty, evil piece of work” and a”jumped up entitled dick.”
If this is what happens when a Brown person calmly and respectfully speaks up about racism, with the intention of calling people in rather than out, is it any wonder ‘Karen’ wasn’t getting any replies to that request for more ‘ethnic’ admin! (Well, apart from a white woman!! I kid you not, the only person to reply. Sigh)
As it happens, people contacted me sharing still publicly available posts of ‘Karen’ (before she was made an admin), being racist to a Black woman several years earlier who had respectfully asked if there were any other Black families who would like to meet up. ‘Karen’ stated that it ‘wouldn’t be ok for a white family to ask that so she shouldn’t’!
This kind of attitude basically ignores the past 400 years of enslavement of Black and Indigenous people, the colonial subjugation of all Global Majority people and the creation of a false, arbitrary and deeply harmful narrative that white skin is superior - white supremacy. If white people don’t like being called racists they sure as shit aren’t going to like being called white supremacists!! Black and Brown people need places of safety away from the white gaze to recover from ongoing racism within every facet of society.
At the time this new information was reported to another admin who did not deal with it effectively, just told ‘Karen’ if she didn’t like it to scroll on by. Unbelievably ‘Karen’ was made an admin soon after!! And the other ineffective admin? She’s the one whose husband called a Brown member a cretin!
I don’t know why I’m surprised by the lack of ignorance. One look at the UK’s tabloid newspapers tells you everything you need to know about our racism as a nation and our pompous belief that our ‘colonial endeavours’ (genocide, rape and theft) were somehow due to our superiority! But shock me it still did.
Happily both these admin have been removed, new rules are being created and the abusive man was removed from the group, eventually. But those views are still there. The people who hold them refused to be called in and there remains much work to be done to move towards equity, never mind equality, for people in the Global Majority. Onward.
Armchair Activism
Call out racism whenever and wherever you see it.
Continue to educate yourself so that you get better at noticing racism when it happens.
Believe Global Majority people when they tell you something is racist. They experience it, white people do not.